


You're ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

by BarbarianBillyHargrove



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Child Abuse, Hurt Steve Harrington, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15985700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarbarianBillyHargrove/pseuds/BarbarianBillyHargrove
Summary: When Billy showed up on the Byer’s doorstep, Steve watched with a red haze as he contemplated what it meant.  His first soul match had failed- or was on the way there. And his second appeared to be a mistake. He’d heard stories of one-sided soul bonds, they were messy and ended only with disaster.  This is what Steve thought about when purple blended with red and he lost consciousness to his potential soulmate’s fists.





	You're ripped at every edge (but you're a masterpiece)

When Steve first laid hands on Billy Hargrove, all he saw was red. All different hues covering the gym everywhere he looked. It spilled over the empty grey tint and blinded him as he hit the floor. He’d never seen such a violent shattering of color. The closest it came to was when he had touched Nancy for the first time. Even then, the appearance of yellow that he’d seen from loving her had been gradual. A splatter here, an impression there… all of it had come slowly after that first touch.

  
The red had come as suddenly as Billy had brushed his skin. A burning that only he seemed to notice. The owner of the fire gave no indication that he had seen anything, only offering up a rude “plant your feet,” to Steve’s searching gaze. Steve could have done without the shove.

  
****

  
Later, after Dustin had dragged him back into his nightmare, Steve wonders at how his life ended up like this. With the appearance of the original Demogorgon, and his confrontation with Nancy had come the purple, dark and menacing. Then after, light and settling, but the color had fizzled out before long. He had figured that it was because the danger had passed, and that the colors would settle eventually. That’s what his Mama always said, that the colors would appear over time until all of them were there one day, all at once.

  
Nancy was supposed to give him that, but recently even their yellow was fading. He’d heard stories of soulmates not making it; where they’d lost their colors as time went by until there was nothing left to see. They were supposed to make it, Steve and Nancy. He had changed everything for her, but they had lost their sight, their goal.  
When Billy showed up on the Byer’s doorstep, Steve watched with a red haze as he contemplated what it meant. His first soul match had failed- or was on the way there. And his second appeared to be a mistake. He’d heard stories of one-sided soul bonds, they were messy and ended only with disaster. This is what Steve thought about when purple blended with red and he lost consciousness to his potential soulmate’s fists.

  
****

  
It took weeks for the colors to fade from his body, red and purple meshed together like a warning, taunting him with the knowledge that he was fucked. When school started again, Billy watched him. Steve knew he did, because every time he looked up, he could see him eyeing up his bruises. Billy always looked away if he made eye contact. He ran away with his tail between his legs every time. Considering the fact that he was the one sporting all the injuries, Steve found this rather annoying.

  
It came to a head one week after classes started up again. Steve came outside at the end of the day to find Billy sitting on the hood of his car and finishing up what looked to be his third or fourth cigarette. Steve froze for a minute, just watching him. When Billy spotted him, he didn’t run away for once, though he dropped the eye contact after a moment. After flipping a mental coin, Steve walked over to see just how much worse his life was about to get.

  
Billy stomped out the cigarette when Steve reached him and glanced up at him quickly, but he said nothing. Steve waited, his throat felt like acid, and his body was screaming at him to run. He turned to move past him, to just put his stuff in the car and pretend that his abusive soulmate-who-isn’t-his-soulmate wasn’t sitting on his car. Billy grabbed his arm before he could, and before he could even open his mouth Steve jerked back. All he could see was red and purple- it was blinding. Everyone had already gone home for the day. There was no one there to stop it if he was about to get his face kicked in again.

  
Billy let go immediately and put his hands up. He looked down again before he spoke, “Can we talk for a minute?”

  
Billy spoke with a softness that Steve never expected to hear from him. His leg shook as he waited for an answer, and he eventually met Steve’s eyes. He found himself nodding against his better judgement. Something about the strain on Billy’s face told him he should listen. That, and maybe Steve still held on to some hope. Hope that maybe he was missing something; that he wasn’t the only one seeing the vibrant tones; that there was some logical reason why his soul match would attack a child.

  
“I want to know why you did it.”

  
Billy looked at him with an undecipherable look on his face and did not reply. Steve waited, and eventually, Billy shook his head, “Doesn’t matter why.”

  
“Of course it fucking matters why!”

  
“No, it doesn’t. I didn’t come here to talk about that.”

  
“Then what the fuck did you want? Because I’m not in the mood to talk about much else when it involves the guy who beat my fucking face in all to get at his little sister and some random kid just because he’s black- “

  
“That’s not fucking why!” Billy snorted as he got up and leaned against the car.

  
“Then why did you fucking do it? Because I don’t care to talk to you unless I fucking get a reason!” Steve snapped this as he stood his ground against Billy. His temper rose as he saw Billy shaking his head in dismissal, and he pushed him against the door of his car.

  
Billy’s teeth snapped together, and he let out a hiss of pain. Steve, startled, let Billy go and watched as he slumped to the ground, leaning back and holding his ribs. Billy lay there panting while Steve stood there dumbfounded.

  
Steve’s mind finally jumpstarted, and he knelt down next to Billy, “What the fuck happened to you?”

  
Billy only shook his head and curled in on himself more. He tried to push Steve off when he moved to get a look at where Billy was clutching his side, but they both froze at the sight of red seeping through the white fabric of his shirt.

  
“Holy fuck,” Steve cursed as he pulled Billy’s arms away from the wound and yanked his shirt up.

  
Lining Billy’s left side were patches of red and purple bruising, all surrounding a nasty cut under his arm. Steve reached forward to try and see how deep the cut was, but Billy seemed to get some of his wits back and grabbed Steve’s wrist before he could touch, “Don’t.”

  
“Hargrove, you need to see a doctor.”

  
“No doctors.”

  
“Hargrove- “

  
“No, I’m fine. I just need to take it easy for a few days.”

  
“Billy, what the fuck?”

  
“Shut up Harrington, I got what I deserved. That’s what everybody wants right? You should be enjoying this!”

  
Billy pushed Steve back and he fell back off his heels. Steve watched from where he sat on his ass as Billy slowly got up and leaned against the car for support.

  
“Is it drugs?”

  
He rolled his eyes and looked at Steve like what he was saying was ridiculous. Steve thought this was stupid considering the guy’s personality. He’d met him after all.

  
Billy shook his head and put on his usual smirk, “Forget it Harrington. Just stay away from my sister,” he turned his back and started off towards his own vehicle. If you didn’t know to look for it, it would have been invisible to anyone how he put his weight on his right side. He kept his arm close to his side and walked with less of the swagger that he normally held. Steve remembered a time, back in middle school, when he saw Johnathon Byers walking the same way, right before the rumors of abuse started. Right before his dad disappeared from town…

  
Steve ran after Billy.

  
He got to him just as he opened up his door to get in and drive off. Steve got in his way and slammed the door shut.

  
“Harrington! What the shit is y- “

  
“It’s not your fault.”

  
Billy glared at him with minimal effort and zero understanding.

  
“It wasn’t your fault, Billy. You didn’t deserve it.”

  
Billy blankly looked at him for a minute, then sighed and ran his right hand through his hair, “Steve, let me give you some advice, king to king. When someone nearly kills you, and you see them get the same treatment, you don’t do this shit. You laugh at them, and you savor it. Then you move the fuck on. Got it?”

  
“Who was it Billy? We can get you help- “

  
“Jesus Harrington.”

  
“Come on Billy, I’m on real good terms with the Chief. We can get you help- “

  
“I don’t need help.”

  
“It was your dad wasn’t it?”

  
“Don’t know when to shut up, do you, pretty boy?” Billy spat out.

  
“I don’t really feel like I should to be honest. You could try to take me. We both know you could do it, but with your side that way? I wouldn’t try it. Plus, you lay a hand on me and we both know your ass is grass. Your sister showed you that, I’m told.”

  
The more Steve spoke the more Billy’s face closed off. He stopped meeting his eyes again. When he stopped talking he took out that dangerous smile of his, his tongue darting out. It looked different now though, he almost looked… scared?

  
“You’re threatening me now? King Steve, I thought you were better than that,” Billy mockingly shook his head and let out a breathless laugh, a defensive, breathless thing.

  
Steve considered his options, he didn’t want Billy feeling scared of him. He knew he hit the nail on the head. Billy’s dad must be a real shit stain to have him scared like that. He didn’t like seeing Billy like this, it wasn’t right. Seeing Billy so cornered, frightened, didn’t sit well with him. Bastard or not, Steve didn’t like seeing his soul match like this. “Okay, here’s the deal: You can come with me, I’ll take you to my house and we’ll check you out. If I decide you need a hospital, I will take you- no arguments. It’s that, or we go to Hopper, and you tell him everything going on. He doesn’t deal with people who hurt children too well, I’ll tell you that.”

  
Billy’s face tightened, “I’m not a fuckin’ kid.”

  
“No, but I bet you were when it started.”

  
“So fucking what?”

 

“So, you’re not going back right now. You’re coming with me.”

  
Billy watched him almost sadly, like he was lost, “Why do you give a shit?”

  
Steve pondered how to answer for second, but really, “Does it matter?”

  
He didn’t say anything. Steve nodded his head, “Come on. Get in my car, I’ll take you to pick up yours later.”

  
Billy shook his head, “I’m not leaving my baby here for someone to fuck with.”

  
After some consideration, Steve figured he pushed him enough for now, “You can follow me there, but if you’re not there five minutes after me, I’m calling Hop.”

  
He got only a nod in response. As he started to walk away, his wrist was grasped, lightly this time.

  
“Thank you,” Steve thinks he heard, he was too focused on the small bursts of green slowly filling in the world around him. He turned to look over his shoulder at Billy, who shut his eyes and looked away when he saw he was being eyed. Steve twisted his arm and grabbed Billy’s wrist and gave it a light squeeze in retaliation, and he started toward his car.

  
****

  
Billy agreed to come over his house if it ever got too bad. In exchange, Steve wouldn’t send Hopper over. Of course, there were conditions: if Billy was absent from school and Steve didn’t hear from him by the next morning, if Steve determined he needed a hospital, or if his dad ever touched Max, all agreements were off. Steve would call the police immediately. Billy agreed to this only because he didn’t have anything to lose, and if he didn’t then Steve would call Hopper anyway.

  
Since then, Billy has been over his house five times in one month. Two of those times, he was fine, but didn’t want to stay there to see if that would change. The other three weren’t horrible, and he only had minor bruising. Steve never thought he would think of colors as ugly, but he got tired of seeing his friend lined with red, purple, and green marks.

  
Whenever he came over, he would come in without a word spoken, cigarette in hand, never quite stilling. Sometimes Steve would catch him looking at him, and he would wish that he wasn’t so alone. Billy didn’t see the spread of violent shades like Steve did. But sometimes Steve would hope- whenever Billy’s eyes wandered to him when he thought he wasn’t looking, he wondered. He let himself imagine- just for a minute. But then Billy would squint at him, miffed, if he caught him looking. Or, sometimes, it almost seemed resentful. Like Steve was the one causing him so much pain, not his father. Steve hated that look.

  
Then came a time when Billy stopped coming over. They would nod at each other in the halls, but they never spoke. Steve would have called Hopper, but as he didn’t see any evidence of harm, and Billy didn’t miss school- his hands were tied. It put him on edge, the waiting. He felt like any time, Billy would snap back into his old, violent self and beat the shit out of him for looking with concern. Or worse, that he would miss classes one day, and Steve would have to make that call to Hopper. Sometimes he wondered if he should just do it. Call Hopper and just get Billy out of there. He never could do it though. What if he just made it worse for him?

  
Then the time came when he did have to make that call. He was sure that Billy was good. There were no signs for weeks. Billy hadn’t even come over just in case. He thought things were going better, but he was wrong apparently.

  
Billy sat slumped against his couch, practically wheezing through pain. Steve was trying not to look at his face, which was bloodied red and marked purple with the result of (what Billy claimed) his father’s fist and the bottle of beer he’d happened to be holding. His face was swollen in multiple spots, and his abdomen was littered with purple that almost blended into the black that Steve would have seen before the colors emerged. The worst part was his hand. The right one was currently immovable; his pointer and middle fingers were bent at odd angles. Steve cleaned up the blood as best he could, but there was nothing else he could do. He needed a hospital.

  
“Billy- “

  
“Please don’t…”

  
Steve turned to meet his eyes and found Billy was already watching him sadly.

  
“I can’t help you here, this won’t go away. If you ever want to play basketball again, at least, you need a doctor.”

  
Billy shook his head as carefully and yet aggressively as he could, “Steve… no cops.”

  
Steve was already shaking his head, “I’m sorry. We don’t have any options. You need to go, and they’re going to ask. I’ll have Hop meet us there, it will be faster, and better than meeting with some random cop. He’s a good guy, Billy. You’ll be in good hands.”

  
Billy looked back at him for a minute, then turned his head away and closed his eyes. There was a moment of silence.

  
“I’m sorry. I’ll go call him now, so you have a minute,” Steve went to stand up from his spot next to Billy on the now bloody leather couch but was stopped by a firm hand on his chest. Steve looked at Billy, question on the tip of his tongue, but it never made it out. Billy had his eyes locked shut, his face as stony as he could otherwise make it. There were tear tracks sliding slowly down his bruised face and landing in the cuts that spanned the area. Steve’s breath caught in his throat. He choked down his own sadness at seeing the truth behind his love’s anger- yes, he decided, love was the best word for it.

  
Steve decided to take a chance, “Do you want to wait a little bit?”

  
He seemed to wait forever for a response, but then Billy uttered a clipped, “please,” and seemed to resign himself to his situation. Steve placed his hand over the one that still lay on his chest, and Billy slowly turned his hand to grasp his back.

  
Yellow lit up Steve’s eyesight.

  
****

  
Hopper took one look at Billy that night and hightailed it to the Hargrove’s house faster than they could tell him everything that happened. Billy stayed quiet as he could, only answering questions when he needed to, in as little words as possible. Steve answered with more detail, while Billy would confirm it and fall silent again. Whenever they were the only two left in the hospital room, he would grasp at Steve’s hand again, almost marveling at it.

  
Later that night, the hospital tried to make him leave. Steve wasn’t family, no matter how much he wished he could replace the one he had. Billy tried to leave with him. The nurse had to call the doctor in, who had to threaten to drug him in order to keep in in the bed. Billy eventually give up and slumped back. He was wheezing again, and he looked like he was trying not to cry again.

  
“Please, he’s my soul match,” Billy whispered with his back to them.

  
Steve’s mind stuttered to a stop. Logically, he knew it was likely, especially given how easily Billy gave into his pleading whenever he begged him not to do anything stupid, and the statistics on single-sided bonds weren’t that high. But Steve still needed a moment to let it sink in that, finally, he wasn’t alone. That someone wanted him to care for them, and he wasn’t just convenient. But why hadn’t Billy told him?

  
He was pretty sure he made some sort of noise out loud, because Billy tensed and turned his head in a way that showed he was being ignored. But at that admission, everyone left, and they allowed Steve to stay. He watched Billy for a moment. Eventually he walked over to the bed, “Move over.”

  
Billy whipped his head around (as well as he could with the bruising) to look at Steve with suspicion, but he moved over and laid down, allowing Steve to join him in the bed. They stayed there in silence for a bit. It was comfortable, besides the bed and the hospital smell.

  
Eventually, Billy turned onto his good side, which was luckily the one facing Steve, “You aren’t disgusted?”

  
Steve stared at him in sad confusion, “Billy, what is there to be disgusted at?”

  
Billy gave him a sarcastic look and then his mask went up again for the first time in a while.

  
“No, don’t do that to me now,” Steve was tired of stepping around this, “I’ve been wanting this for weeks- I thought that it was only me. I want to know why you think I would hate this.”

  
As Billy tried to turn away and go back to ignoring him, Steve caught his face in his hands, “Billy?” He pushed some of the tangled hair out of his face and pressed his forehead against the other boy’s.

  
He watched as Billy closed his eyes and stated, “My father doesn’t like fags; any boy stuck with me would just resent me for being one. He always said I could be contagious, or something.”

  
“Billy…”

  
“Complete shit, I know. But if you hear it enough…” Billy let the sentence trail off, and rested his good hand on Steve’s hip, “Why would you stay though? Even though that’s bull, I still nearly killed you. I attacked those kids. I harass Max all the time. So why? You’re supposed to be all noble and shit now, so why aren’t you just kicking my ass while I’m down and getting out of here?”

  
“…I wasn’t always ‘noble and shit.’ People can change, and you’ve been trying. And I know how much parents can fuck with your life,” Steve assured him, “My parents dump money on me and never give me any time of their day. I actually haven’t seen them for more than a couple hours in a while. I used to hang out with Tommy and do all sorts of shit because I wanted their attention. Maybe if I fucked up enough they would look at me. They never did, so I guess what I’m saying is- I can’t imagine you’re any worse than me, considering… everything.”

  
They both laid there for a while, contemplating everything that was happening around them. Then Billy snorted, and it caused Steve to laugh, and that sent Billy into stifled hilarity, “We’re so stupid,” Steve said.

  
“Stop!” Billy laughed, holding his side, “I have a cracked rib, shut the fuck up you hick!”

  
“Technically you’re a hick now too, you live here.”

  
“I dare you to fucking say that again, just wait until I can move without pain meds and stitches.”

  
They continued with their muffled laugher for a while. Eventually, Billy stopped laughing and just looked at Steve with open nervousness and curiosity, “So you want this too, right? I’m not returnable- not that kind of chick, ya know?” he joked.

  
Steve sadly laughed, “Yea, just don’t cream your pants.”

  
“Too late.”

  
“Billy!”

  
They laughed, and Steve watched Billy as they lay there. And he saw him without any tension for the first time, and he was beautiful. Even with all of the colorful bruising and cuts, the weight he normally carried with him was gone- for now. And Steve never saw anything so warm. So, he stopped laughing, and lay there, just smiling at his soulmate. The one person meant for him, and him only. And when Billy noticed his silence, he rested his forehead back against Steve’s and smiled back at him with the most pure, safe emotion Steve had ever seen. He reveled in it.

  
Steve pressed forward, and with one hand on his jaw and the other on his neck, he pressed his lips to Billy’s. Softly, just a peck, to show Billy that he was seen in all his openness. And when he pulled back, it was to eyes so blue and kind that he doubted anything could even come close to their vibrancy and strength. It was then that he decided on his favorite color, not the red and purple of danger and power, or the yellow and green of renewal and possibilities, but the blue that offered so much security and trust. To turn it down would be blasphemy.

  
****

  
Months later, after the arrest, Hopper had become somewhat of an idol for Billy. Apparently other cops had always been swayed by Neil’s respectful attitude and they’d taken Billy’s bruising, acting out as a “boy’s issue” or a teenage rebellion. Doctors had reported in the past, but nothing ever came of it. Hopper was the only one who actually gave two fucks about the kid. They spent a lot of time over the cabin after that. It helped that Joyce had practically decided to adopt Billy after she heard what happened.

  
Eleven had become attached to Billy the second she met him. Either she had heard what happened or she could just feel they were similar, but she had latched herself onto his side right after he walked into the cabin. She often could be caught stealing the tapes from his car. They all pretend not to notice.

  
Max and Billy had come to a truce once Neil had left and Susan had been fined for neglect. Billy had been staying with him since the night in the hospital and Max had stormed in to scream at him about her mother. But she saw his face and fell silent. They were at least talking now. According to Dustin, Max was still mad at her mom, and got away with having the party over all the time. Susan apparently felt some guilt towards Billy, or at least regret at losing her daughter to some extent. Even Billy and Lucas were better. They didn’t interact much, probably because Lucas was still wary of him, and Billy still felt guilty, but it was a start. It certainly gave them both bonus points in Max’s eyes.

  
One night at the start of fall, Billy turned to Steve, his body tense and his eyes nervous, “I’ve been here about a year now.”

  
Steve knew this logically but wasn’t really thinking of it. He didn’t see the point at first, until he remembered a conversation they’d had a few weeks ago, about Billy missing blue skies and ocean water, and how he’d never intended to stay after graduation. It had been months after that and he was still around. Steve had wanted him to stay, but he couldn’t do that to his soulmate. His memories here were mostly terrible; it wasn’t his home. They had talked a little about it. Billy wanted to move back eventually. Steve wasn’t sure what he wanted, he just knew he wouldn’t want to be anywhere without him.

  
“I guess we can’t leave without saying goodbye. Dustin’s gonna be pissed. I’ll tell El if you tell him.”

  
Billy’s body remained tense, but it was a different kind. He looked ready to vibrate with enthusiasm, and he was sporting the greatest smile Steve had ever seen. Steve’s observations were stopped when he was yanked into the most passionate kiss he’d ever received. Before he knew what was happening, they were naked and falling back onto his mattress.

  
The orange sunlight coming from the window made the room feel warm and welcoming as they took their time with each other. Billy pressed his lips to a mark he left on Steve’s shoulder, “Thank you. I love you.”

  
And Steve had never felt so whole than he was in that moment, not one speck of color missing as the bond settled into their skin and their bodies intertwined. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Mollie if you're reading this I just wanna point out that I did NOT write porn, as you keep implying that I did.  
> Anyone else, come talk to me on tumblr: barbarianbillyhargrove


End file.
